Recommended Read

I just finished The Self-Esteem Trap: Raising Confident and Compassionate Kids in the Age of Self Importance by Polly Young-Eisendrath. This is a great read for any parents or educators, but I enjoyed it even though I am neither. It is about how children have been raised for the past three decades to believe that they are special, have no weaknesses, and problems will get solved for them. The self-esteem trap appears later in life, when they go off to college or out on their own and are unprepared to face real life. They don't have problem solving skills, or believe that they should be the best and "win" at everything they do. When they realize they can't win all the time, it leaves the young adults with feelings of inferiority, depression, and not being ready to go off on their own, among other problems. Not only does the author point out this epidemic, but she offers solutions on how to raise children or learn yourself how to be "ordinary"--that is, a compassionate, functioning member of society.

This is something I think every parent should read. Too often anymore, children are all winners...everyone gets a ribbon, etc...and when they get into the "real world" they expect things to be handed to them without putting forth effort, or think everything they do is great and perfect. Instead of overly praising your children, you should point out that they have strengths and weaknesses and cannot always be the best. I am reminded me of this recent story, where children in Pittsburgh cannot earn a grade lower than 50%. They say so the children can catch up, or won't give up, but basically, in my opinion, you are telling the children only half the truth. You are not giving them the skills they need to be sucessful. Children will grow up thinking they can't really fail, they will alway have a chance. Is this the message we want our children to grow up with?